The Scotsman

Mike Cross


Oh a scotsman dressed in kilt left the pub one evening fair.
And one could tell from how he walked he’d had more than his share.
He staggered around until he could no longer keep his feet.
He staggered off into the grass to sleep beside the street.

Chorus:
Ring Ding Diddle Iddle Aye dee Oh
Ring dye Diddle De Aye Oh
(Repeat last line of each verse)

Just then two young and lovely girls just happened by
And the one said to the other, with a twinkle in her eye,
Do ye see that sleeping Scotsman, so strong and handsome built?
Oh I wonder if it’s true what they don’t wear beneath the kilt!

So they crept up on that sleeping Scotsman quiet as can be,
And they lifted up his kilt an inch or two so they could see.
And there behold for them to view, beneath his Scottish skirt
Was nothing more than God had blessed him with upon his birth.

Well they marveled for a moment, then one said we must be gone.
Let’s leave a present for our friend before we move along.
As a gift they left this blue silk ribbon, tied into a bow.
Around the bonny star the Scotsman’s kilt did lift and show.

The Scotsman woke to nature’s call and stumbled toward the trees.
Behind a bush he lifts his kilt and he gawks at what he sees.
And in a startled voice he says, to what’s before his eyes,
"Och, Lad, I don’t know where ye been, but I see ye won first prize."