by Richard Winstead
Atlanta, GA


As children of God, we are not supposed to live our lives the way the rest of the world lives theirs.

Romans 12:1-2.
12:1 I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that ye present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable unto God, which is your reasonable service.
12:2 And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God.

Verse 2 in the New International Version (NIV) reads:

12:2 Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is -- His good, pleasing and perfect will.

One of the patterns of this world that we are not to conform to is the giving of tit for tat.

Romans 12:3-8.
12:3 For I say, through the grace given unto me, to every man that is among you, not to think of himself more highly than he ought to think; but to think soberly, according as God hath dealt to every man the measure of faith.
12:4 For as we have many members in one body, and all members have not the same office:
12:5 So we, being many, are one body in Christ, and every one members one of another.
12:6 Having then gifts differing according to the grace that is given to us, whether prophecy, let us prophesy according to the proportion of faith;
12:7 Or ministry, let us wait on our ministering: or he that teacheth, on teaching;
12:8 Or he that exhorteth, on exhortation: he that giveth, let him do it with simplicity; he that ruleth, with diligence; he that sheweth mercy, with cheerfulness.

The point is, we are each called to a different ministry. Everyone in the body of Christ isn't supposed to be doing the same thing, or functioning the same way. We need to recognize this, and refrain from hindering each other's ministries.

Romans 12:9-12.
12:9 Let love be without dissimulation. Abhor that which is evil; cleave to that which is good.
12:10 Be kindly affectioned one to another with brotherly love; in honour preferring one another;
12:11 Not slothful in business; fervent in spirit; serving the Lord;
12:12 Rejoicing in hope; patient in tribulation; continuing instant in prayer;

We are to be patient in tribulation, or faithful in affliction (NIV). What does that mean? It means that when you're under attack for no reason, or for doing good, wait patiently and faithfully on the Lord. Keep doing what you're supposed to be doing until your help or instruction comes from the Lord.

Romans 12:13-14.
12:13 Distributing to the necessity of saints; given to hospitality.
12:14 Bless them which persecute you: bless, and curse not.

Blessing those who persecute you can be a real challenge. What do you do if someone gets right in your face and curses you out like a sailor? Let them know that they've just messed with the WRONG person? No! We are to bless them -- to actively seek to do good to them.

Romans 12:15-16.
12:15 Rejoice with them that do rejoice, and weep with them that weep.
12:16 Be of the same mind one toward another. Mind not high things, but condescend to men of low estate. Be not wise in your own conceits.
12:17 Recompense to no man evil for evil. Provide things honest in the sight of all men.

Here it is. We are not to return evil for evil, after the pattern of the world. God's children are not to give tit for tat.

In addition, we are to do what is right according to the standard of God's Word. The standard is not what "all men" think is right. Men can have some pretty perverted ideas about what's right and what's wrong. Instead, in the sight of everyone we are to do what God says is right. Not everybody is going to think that what you're doing is right

Romans 12:18.
12:18 If it be possible, as much as lieth in you, live peaceably with all men.

God wants us to do our best to live peaceably with all men. This verse seems to imply that there may be people you can't live at peace with, because they refuse to be at peace with you regardless of what you do, and there may be times when your capacity for peace is smaller than at others.

Our capacity for peace has to grow. That's part of what peace as a fruit of the spirit does. It grows as you walk according to what is written in God's Word, as you walk in the spirit. If the peace of God is not in you, if the peace of God is not ruling in your heart, you will tend to fly off the handle at the slightest provocation.

Romans 12:19.
12:19 Dearly beloved, avenge not yourselves, but rather give place unto wrath: for it is written, Vengeance is mine; I will repay, saith the Lord.

Here it is again. When someone does you wrong, it's not your job to "fix" things. That's God's job. Take it to Him, and trust Him to take care of things in exactly the right way, at exactly the right time.

Romans 12:20.
12:20 Therefore if thine enemy hunger, feed him; if he thirst, give him drink: for in so doing thou shalt heap coals of fire on his head.

If I'm not supposed to render evil for evil, what am I supposed to do? When someone does evil to you, you do good to them.

What would happen to us if God paid us tit for tat? None of us would be here, that's what!

Romans 12:21.
12:21 Be not overcome of evil, but overcome evil with good.

This is a great and godly admonition, but it can be hard to carry out sometimes, especially when certain people seem determined to provoke you. I've been challenged in this area recently, and I've had to encourage myself in the Word in order to carry out this instruction.

Proverbs 25:11-12.
25:11 A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in pictures of silver.
25:12 As an earring of gold, and an ornament of fine gold, so is a wise reprover upon an obedient ear.

Even if a wise man is speaking to you, if you're not listening, you won't receive the benefit of his wisdom.

Proverbs 25:13-15.
25:13 As the cold of snow in the time of harvest, so is a faithful messenger to them that send him: for he refresheth the soul of his masters.
25:14 Whoso boasteth himself of a false gift is like clouds and wind without rain.
25:15 By long forbearing is a prince persuaded, and a soft tongue breaketh the bone.

A gentle tongue can break a bone. Now, that doesn't mean we're supposed to go around looking for bones to break!

Proverbs 25:16-18.
25:16 Hast thou found honey? eat so much as is sufficient for thee, lest thou be filled therewith, and vomit it.
25:17 Withdraw thy foot from thy neighbour's house; lest he be weary of thee, and so hate thee.
25:18 A man that beareth false witness against his neighbour is a maul, and a sword, and a sharp arrow.

When people tell lies on you, it hurts. The question is, what do you do about the hurt, or the person who hurt you?

Proverbs 25:19-22.
25:19 Confidence in an unfaithful man in time of trouble is like a broken tooth, and a foot out of joint.
25:20 As he that taketh away a garment in cold weather, and as vinegar upon nitre, so is he that singeth songs to an heavy heart.
25:21 If thine enemy be hungry, give him bread to eat; and if he be thirsty, give him water to drink:
25:22 For thou shalt heap coals of fire upon his head, and the LORD shall reward thee.

This is the same thing we read in Romans. The way of the world is, let it go. Don''t hold in your anger. If someone hurts you, you hurt them. This is the case in matters involving physical violence, but even more so in matters involving the tongue.

Proverbs 25:28.
25:28 He that hath no rule over his own spirit is like a city that is broken down, and without walls.

In the world, a person who is able to unleash his anger effectively is considered strong. According to God's Word, if you cannot refrain from unleashing your anger whenever it wants to be unleashed, you are defenseless, like a city without walls.

Psalm 37:1.
37:1 Fret not thyself because of evildoers, neither be thou envious against the workers of iniquity.

When you see people doing wrong, and they seem to be prospering from their evil, there is a temptation to give up on doing good and to succumb to doing evil. Don't fret, don't worry yourself, even when the evil is being done to you.

Psalm 37:2-4.
37:2 For they shall soon be cut down like the grass, and wither as the green herb.
37:3 Trust in the LORD, and do good; so shalt thou dwell in the land, and verily thou shalt be fed.
37:4 Delight thyself also in the LORD: and he shall give thee the desires of thine heart.

When someone does you wrong, what does the world tell you to do? Don't let them get away with that! Stand up and be a man! Be a woman! Get in their face and make them wish they'd never met you!

What does God's Word say we are to do? Trust in the Lord and do good. That doesn't mean we don't confront people when they do evil. It does mean that we do it in a godly way, and that we restrict ourselves to godly methods.

God is willing to give you the desires of your heart (that are in agreement with His Word and His will), but that depends on your trusting in the Lord and continuing to do good, regardless of the provocation.

Psalm 37:5-8.
37:5 Commit thy way unto the LORD; trust also in him; and he shall bring it to pass.
37:6 And he shall bring forth thy righteousness as the light, and thy judgment as the noonday.
37:7 Rest in the LORD, and wait patiently for him: fret not thyself because of him who prospereth in his way, because of the man who bringeth wicked devices to pass.
37:8 Cease from anger, and forsake wrath: fret not thyself in any wise to do evil.

Again and again God warns us not to worry ourselves about the evil we see. We are to cease from anger and forsake wrath. Why? Because if we let go, things will blow up in our face, and evil will result.

Psalm 37:9-11.
37:9 For evildoers shall be cut off: but those that wait upon the LORD, they shall inherit the earth.
37:10 For yet a little while, and the wicked shall not be: yea, thou shalt diligently consider his place, and it shall not be.
37:11 But the meek shall inherit the earth; and shall delight themselves in the abundance of peace.

The Lord knows that the day of accounting for the wicked is coming. We need to know this ourselves, and not try to fix things on our own. Leave the balancing of the books and all payback to God.

Psalm 37:12-22.
37:12 The wicked plotteth against the just, and gnasheth upon him with his teeth.
37:13 The LORD shall laugh at him: for he seeth that his day is coming.
37:14 The wicked have drawn out the sword, and have bent their bow, to cast down the poor and needy, and to slay such as be of upright conversation.
37:15 Their sword shall enter into their own heart, and their bows shall be broken.
37:16 A little that a righteous man hath is better than the riches of many wicked.
37:17 For the arms of the wicked shall be broken: but the LORD upholdeth the righteous.
37:18 The LORD knoweth the days of the upright: and their inheritance shall be for ever.
37:19 They shall not be ashamed in the evil time: and in the days of famine they shall be satisfied.
37:20 But the wicked shall perish, and the enemies of the LORD shall be as the fat of lambs: they shall consume; into smoke shall they consume away.
37:21 The wicked borroweth, and payeth not again: but the righteous sheweth mercy, and giveth.
37:22 For such as be blessed of him shall inherit the earth; and they that be cursed of him shall be cut off.

It's not our job to bless or curse people. God is the one who does that. We need to leave that job to Him.

Psalm 37:23-40.
37:23 The steps of a good man are ordered by the LORD: and he delighteth in his way.
37:24 Though he fall, he shall not be utterly cast down: for the LORD upholdeth him with his hand.
37:25 I have been young, and now am old; yet have I not seen the righteous forsaken, nor his seed begging bread.
37:26 He is ever merciful, and lendeth; and his seed is blessed.
37:27 Depart from evil, and do good; and dwell for evermore.
37:28 For the LORD loveth judgment, and forsaketh not his saints; they are preserved for ever: but the seed of the wicked shall be cut off.
37:29 The righteous shall inherit the land, and dwell therein for ever.
37:30 The mouth of the righteous speaketh wisdom, and his tongue talketh of judgment.
37:31 The law of his God is in his heart; none of his steps shall slide.
37:32 The wicked watcheth the righteous, and seeketh to slay him.
37:33 The LORD will not leave him in his hand, nor condemn him when he is judged.
37:34 Wait on the LORD, and keep his way, and he shall exalt thee to inherit the land: when the wicked are cut off, thou shalt see it.
37:35 I have seen the wicked in great power, and spreading himself like a green bay tree.
37:36 Yet he passed away, and, lo, he was not: yea, I sought him, but he could not be found.
37:37 Mark the perfect man, and behold the upright: for the end of that man is peace.
37:38 But the transgressors shall be destroyed together: the end of the wicked shall be cut off.
37:39 But the salvation of the righteous is of the LORD: he is their strength in the time of trouble.
37:40 And the LORD shall help them, and deliver them: he shall deliver them from the wicked, and save them, because they trust in him.

God wants us to trust in Him, to rely on Him for our help. When we do that, and obey him instead of following our worldly instincts, we avoid falling into the trap of returning evil for evil, and giving tit for tat.

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