But gradually, over billions and billions of years, it became bored with its empty and meaningless existence, and it began to search around for something worthwhile to do. And slowly, painfully, an idea began to form in its vast un-mind: "I'll make some matter to play with!"

Knowing instinctively that E=mc2, Energy performed the necessary conversions, and lo and behold, there was Matter! And the Matter was without form, and void, but the Energy didn't care, because now it had something to play with.

The next few billion years were happy ones, with Matter and Energy frolicking together, doing whatever it is that Matter and Energy do when they think nobody's looking. But eventually, things started to get boring again. Something was missing from their existence.

"There's no purpose to anything we do," Energy finally concluded. "Sure, we have fun, but we're not accomplishing anything."

So for the next few billion years or so, Matter and Energy sat and thought, trying to come up with a way to make their existence more meaningful, considering one idea after another, rejecting each one for this reason or that, until finally one day Matter came up with an idea that looked interesting.

"Suppose," Matter suggested carefully, "that you compressed me into an infinitely small point. That should trigger an explosion of unimaginable force."

"What good would that do?" asked Energy, somewhat confused.

"It would put me in order, that's what!"

"Are you sure?"

"No, but it's certainly worth a try."

So Energy compressed Matter with all his might, until Matter occupied no more than an infinitesimal point in space. Suddenly, there was a BIG BANG! -- far greater than anything either of them had ever imagined in their wildest dreams. When the cosmic dust cleared, lo and behold, the sky was filled with planets, and stars, and galaxies, and clusters of galaxies, spinning through space in perfect harmony.

"We did it!" they cried exuberantly, and for the next several billion years, they watched the stars trace out their intricate, yet orderly, pathways through the heavens. Yet eventually the day came when even this was boring. This time it was Energy who came up with an idea to liven things up.

"Why don't we teach some of these rocks to think for themselves," Energy suggested.

"Are you crazy?" Matter countered. "Rocks aren't even alive!"

"I know that," Energy replied patiently, "but we can fix that. All we have to do is whip up a chemical soup, toss in the rocks, and shoot lightning bolts through it. Sooner or later, something's bound to happen."

"What have we got to lose?" Matter finally agreed. "If nothing else, it'll be a change from the routine."

So for the next few billion years, Matter and Energy worked day and night, eon after eon, trying to teach rocks to spontaneously generate. It was frustrating work, because rocks are VERY slow learners.

Finally, one day, on a planet far, far away, a tiny sliver of rock became aware of its own existence.

"I am alive!" it thought. "And I am hungry!"

And then, since it was the only living thing on the planet, it starved to death.

Greatly encouraged, Matter and Energy stepped up their work. On each planet they gathered as many rock chips as they could find, threw them in the soup, and gave it jolt after jolt, searching carefully for any sign of life. Rocks all over the universe generated briefly, then starved to death.

Then one day, on an insignificant-looking planet, TWO rocks spontaneously generated at the same time. The larger of the two gained consciousness first, sniffed the air, and discovered --FOOD! Slowly, painfully, excitedly, he inched his way toward his prey, until -- LUNCH!

Afterwards, as he settled down for an after-meal nap, he felt a strange rumbling inside himself. Not knowing what to expect, he braced himself fearfully. His insides twisted and turned and stretched -- and suddenly there were TWO of him! Smiling, he settled down contentedly; his next meal was now assured.

As time went on, the ex-rock was fruitful and multiplied --repeatedly. Soon the planet was teeming with tiny, one-celled beings. Most were content with their lot, and spent their days eating, sleeping, and multiplying, with scarcely a thought to the future. But a few were made of sterner stuff, and aspired to greater things. These sought to adapt themselves more perfectly to their environment, or to acquire valuable new traits which they could pass on to their offspring; others sought out dangerous cosmic rays in the hope of mutating into something a bit more advanced. Progress was necessarily slow, but they were patient in their persistence; time was on their side.

It has been suggested that if a billion monkeys were given a billion typewriters and allowed to type randomly for a billion years, eventually they could reproduce the complete works of William Shakespeare, with footnotes. That is EXACTLY what happened here. Matter and Energy had done what they could to get things rolling; from here on out, it would be up to time to complete the job they had started.

Eons passed, and while their single-celled brothers frittered away their time in trivial pursuits, bolder souls experimented with two-cell combinations, then with strings and clusters of cells. In time, the advantages of specialization became obvious; one cell would concentrate on seeing, another on hearing, another on moving, and still another on breaking down food for the entire colony. But the greatest advance of all was achieved when the individual members of these colonies began to fuse their individual minds and wills into a single community mind, thus becoming no longer a colony, but instead, one body!

Things moved quickly after this. The next few hundred million years saw dramatic advances in specialization among the cells of these new organisms. Eyes were invented, ears, fins, gills, and, most important, brains. Countless variations of each organisms were experimented with; the less successful among them were ruthlessly exterminated.

What had once been glorified rock chips were now an innumerable variety of fish, swimming in a life-filled sea. These were infinitely more complex than their forefathers; but while most were satisfied with life as it was, a few continued to experiment, to innovate. Fins gave way to legs, gills evolved into lungs, and the first amphibians crawled onto shore.

These continued to experiment and to mutate, just as their forefathers had done. In a very short while (fifty million years or so), they had managed to branch out in bold new directions. Some focused on leg development, and picked their bellies up off the ground when they walked. Some did away with legs altogether, preferring to slither from place to place. A few very brave souls experimented with flying, eventually developing wings.

But the boldest and the brightest focused their efforts on improving their minds. For thousand and thousand of years they struggled, with each generation growing just a little bit brighter than the one before. Step by step, reptile developed into mammal, mammal into monkey, and monkey into ape, until the fateful day when one among their number was able to stand up among his brethren and boldly say, with all honesty, "I am not an animal; I am a man!"

It's hard to believe that everything around us -- the food we eat, the air we breathe, the stars in the heavens -- are all the result of a startling series of cosmic accidents; but who are we to argue with science? Each of us is on this earth by chance, and our true importance lies not in who we are or what we do, but in the genes that we pass to our offspring; for it is the destiny of man to develop into a species far greater than anything we, with our feeble minds, can imagine.

Even now we are on the verge of an evolutionary breakthrough. As you read this, pioneer spirits within our ranks are pushing themselves to grow beyond their humanity. Some are trying to project their souls outside of their bodies to distant places; others are trying to move physical objects by mental power alone; still others are challenging the bonds of time and death, exploring their previous lives. These are the forerunners of a new race of supermen, who will one day throw off these fleshly shackles to become beings of pure thought, capable of uniting themselves into one supermind, with power and intelligence and ability far beyond anything we've ever dreamed possible.

Each of us must do his part to advance mankind toward the fulfillment of this dream. If you have good genes, share the wealth! You owe it to humanity to spread them around as much as is humanly possible. If your genes aren't so hot (YOU know who you are!), keep them to yourself; you're slowing the rest of us down! If your genes are average, be brave: sign up for extra chest x-rays; apply for a job at a nuclear power plant; volunteer to field-test exotic new drugs. Who knows? Your genes may mutate into something that may advance humanity by thousands of years.

There is no room for ego in our quest; the needs of the individual must give way to the needs of humanity. Let us do away, then, with gods made in our own image, with religions, with any truths that cannot be proven scientifically! Away with rigid codes of ethics and morality; our moral standards must be determined by the needs of the hour! Away with the weak, the sickly, the insane, the unattractive, the unintelligent; we cannot allow those who cannot keep up to impede the progress of the rest of humanity.

Ex-monkeys of the world, unite! Shake off the shackles of your humanity! You have nothing to lose but your tails!