DIVORCE AND REMARRIAGE
by Ivan Maddox
West End Bible Fellowship
Atlanta, GA
In this study, I want to take a look at divorce as part of a broader subject: the termination of marriage.
Jesus responded to a question about divorce in Matthew 19:4-6.
5 And said, For this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they twain shall be one flesh?
6 Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.
In verse 6 he puts his finger on the key problem faced in terminating a marriage. It was not man who joined husband and wife together; it was God. Unless the marriage is terminated in a way that is acceptable to God, God does not have to recognize the termination of the marriage as valid.
What legitimately terminates a marriage in God's eyes? The first and most obvious answer, of course, is the death of one of the parties.
1 Know ye not, brethren, (for I speak to them that know the law) how that the law hath dominion over a man as long as he liveth?
2 For the woman which hath an husband is bound by the law to her husband so long as he liveth; but if the husband be dead, she is loosed from the law of her husband.
3 So then if, while her husband liveth, she be married to another man, she shall be called an adulteress: but if her husband be dead, she is free from that law; so that she is no adulteress, though she be married to another man.
If one of the parties to the marriage dies, the marriage is legitimately dissolved, and the other partner is free to remarry. This much is obvious. What is less obvious to us, since we don't live under the Law of Moses, is that death here is not limited to death by natural causes.
Consider the case when one of the partners has been caught in adultery. Under the Law of Moses, both parties to the adulterous act were to be put to death. Once they were dead, any marriages they may have been a part of were legitimately dissolved, and the non-adulterous party or parties were free to remarry.
What does this have to do with divorce? Let's look at what happened with Mary and Joseph. When Mary was found to be with child before the two of them had come together, it was presumed that she had committed adultery. Because of this, Joseph had the right to have her put to death. But Joseph really loved Mary, and did not want her hurt. After carefully considering the matter, Joseph came up with another way to handle the situation according to the Law: he would put Mary away quietly -- that is, he would divorce her. That way, the honor of his family would be upheld, while Mary would be unhurt. Fortunately, at this point the angel of the Lord intervened with further information for Joseph, so this decision was never acted upon.
The point I am getting at, though, is this: In seeking to divorce Mary, Joseph was, in effect, reckoning her as dead so far as he himself was concerned, so that he would not have to harm her in actuality. Divorce, in this case, was a compassionate substitute for putting someone to death.
This means that there are at least two legitimate means of terminating a marriage: (1) the death of one of the partners, or (2) the EQUIVALENT of death on the part of one of the partners.
Adultery is not the only legitimate reason for putting a spouse to death found in the Old Testament. Consider the case of idolatry.
6 If thy brother, the son of thy mother, or thy son, or thy daughter, or the wife of thy bosom, or thy friend, which is as thine own soul, entice thee secretly, saying, Let us go and serve other gods, which thou hast not known, thou, nor thy fathers;
7 Namely, of the gods of the people which are round about you, nigh unto thee, or far off from thee, from the one end of the earth even unto the other end of the earth;
8 Thou shalt not consent unto him, nor hearken unto him; neither shall thine eye pity him, neither shalt thou spare, neither shalt thou conceal him:
9 But thou shalt surely kill him; thine hand shall be first upon him to put him to death, and afterwards the hand of all the people.
10 And thou shalt stone him with stones, that he die; because he hath sought to thrust thee away from the LORD thy God, which brought thee out of the land of Egypt, from the house of bondage.
11 And all Israel shall hear, and fear, and shall do no more any such wickedness as this is among you.
If any Israelite was enticed by any other Israelite to worship other gods, the Israelite who was being enticed was to turn the other person in, and help put him or her to death -- even if the culprit was one's own spouse. Under the Law of Moses, then, enticing others to worship other gods was supposed to result in the termination of marriage by way of death.
In Leviticus 20 there is a list of acts considered by God to be detestable (or "abomination"). Many, though not all, of these acts were punishable by death. These included cursing one of your parents, sleeping with your father's wife, sleeping with both a woman and her mother, sleeping with your daughter in law, homosexuality and bestiality.
In cases such as these, divorce was not necessary where the Law was literally obeyed; the marriage was terminated by more forceful means.
What does this have to do with today? There are some things that, as a Christian, one does not have to tolerate even in marriage. Today we don't put people to death for doing such things; yet these were legitimate reasons for terminating a marriage (as well as a marriage partner!) under the Law, and it is my understanding that they remain so today, even though this is not explicitly stated in the New Testament.
In the New Testament, termination of marriage is less lethal than in the Old Testament. Paul gives one legitimate reason for leaving a spouse in I Corinthians 7:12-16 -- but it is a reason that is often misunderstood.
12 But to the rest speak I, not the Lord: If any brother hath a wife that believeth not, and she be pleased to dwell with him, let him not put her away.
13 And the woman which hath an husband that believeth not, and if he be pleased to dwell with her, let her not leave him.
14 For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband: else were your children unclean; but now are they holy.
15 But if the unbelieving depart, let him depart. A brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases: but God hath called us to peace.
16 For what knowest thou, O wife, whether thou shalt save thy husband? or how knowest thou, O man, whether thou shalt save thy wife?
If one is married to a person who is not born again, and the person who is not born again deserts you, you are free to divorce and marry again. The believer is not to leave the unbeliever, however, if the unbeliever wishes to stay. The marriage is only legitimately broken if the unbeliever deserts the believer.
When you go back and look at this in light of the Old Testament, though, you discover that Paul is not giving believers permission to divorce unbelieving spouses; he is, instead, giving believers married to unbelievers permission to stay married!
Under the Law, God’s people were supposed to marry God’s people. In Ezra 10, when it was discovered that some of the Israelites had married unbelieving wives, they were forced to divorce them, and to give up the children they had fathered by them!
1 Now when Ezra had prayed, and when he had confessed, weeping and casting himself down before the house of God, there assembled unto him out of Israel a very great congregation of men and women and children: for the people wept very sore.
2 And Shechaniah the son of Jehiel, one of the sons of Elam, answered and said unto Ezra, We have trespassed against our God, and have taken strange wives of the people of the land: yet now there is hope in Israel concerning this thing.
3 Now therefore let us make a covenant with our God to put away all the wives, and such as are born of them, according to the counsel of my lord, and of those that tremble at the commandment of our God; and let it be done according to the law.
This is NOT God's will for those who are born again! If one's spouse is an unbeliever, that does not make that spouse -- or the children produced with that spouse -- unclean. Because one of the parents is born again, both the other parent and the children are counted as sanctified or holy by God instead of unclean.
14 For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband: else were your children unclean; but now are they holy.
Marriage is not something to be entered into lightly. It is something that God takes seriously, and that we need to take seriously.
Ending a marriage is not something that we need to do lightly, either. If we must end a marriage, we need to make sure that we are doing it for reasons that meet with God's approval.